I'm Not Falling Down Drunk, I'm Accidently Horizontal. | T-Shirt, Vest, Hoody


I often used to find myself face-down in the gutter after a bottle or two of Rum. Tried to go to sleep with some tramps once. I had been backstage at a Steve Vai concert, completely pissed, making a total arse out of myself. At one point, I was on the floor, bum up in the air screaming to Steve Vai to fuck me. Not that I actually wanted his meat and two veg anywhere near my bottom, more just to be annoying. It worked as I was asked to leave. So, feeling a bit sorry for myself, I decided that I should wander the streets of London and sulk a bit. Then I found some tramps, sat down with them, gave them all my cigarettes and money getting myself all comfy in amongst their cardboard abodes. At that moment, I decided that this was what I wanted to do from now on: be a bum. Fortunately, the friend that was with me had managed to track me down and rescued me from this new life...

Ah, glory daze!

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