I Did The Bad Thing Again | T-Shirt, Vest, Hoody
I used to love being in trouble as a kid. I can remember two occasions where I got in sooooo much trouble, I thought my life was over.
1) I was about 8. Me and a friend crawled under the window of the next-door-neighbours to their next-door-neighbours and leapt up at her window, sticking our fingers up at her. This, apparently, was noted by the next-door-neighbours who promptly grassed me up to my mum over the fence. I was caught red handed, smacked (as it was in the days where you could actually hit your kids to control them a bit, so they don't all grow up with ASBOS and a penchant for stabbings) and sent to bed at the pathetically early time of 4.30 in the afternoon. Oh, the ignomy! The embarrasment! The fun!!
2) I was about 10. Me and a friend had found a stash of porno mags down the black alley. It backed onto a WH Smiths warehouse so they used to dump old ones. Naturally, all the tramps and alcy's knew this too but, on this occasion, we were victorious. I then took them to school and started selling them to the other kids, being the entrepreneur I was. The ones that did not sell, I kept under my matress. Well, one day I got in from playing out to discover no mum and dad and a freshly made bed. To say I shit myself was an understatement. Was the pseudo Vampire porn enough to get me a good hard bollocking (don't go there)?? Yes, it was. My mum and dad went APESHIT! Totally bonkers. Apparently they were worried they were going to get arrested by the police or something. Weirdos. Funny thing is, my dad is now OBSESSED with any kind of soft porn with Vampires in. Especially if they are lesbian vampires.
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