I Am Not Drunk, Just Slightly Spasticated | T-Shirt, Vest, Hoody


Have you ever noticed how the drunk resemble Spastics? They walk funny, slur their words, dribble over themselves and manage to contort themselves into all sorts of awkward positions. Of course, they might actually be Spastics (does a drunk Spastic walk straight? Has anyone done any experiments on this? Worth looking into, methinks. Hey, I might have just found a cure! I can sniff a Nobel Prize coming my way pretty soon..!). Got me thinking that this whole being Spastic is a pretty good excuse for some pretty outrageous behaviour - "No Officer, I am NOT drunk, just slightly Spasticated". See? Fucking genius plan. Imagine how much shit you could get away with wearing one of these? No more getting barred/arrested/deported - you can blame it all on your new affliction. Awesome. Of course, you might actually BE a Spastic (I'm guessing you have some kind of specially adapted keyboard to let you surf the 'net?? Go you!!), in which case you could REALLY confuse the fuck out of people!

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