I'm So Fat I Shit Donuts | T-Shirt, Vest, Hoody

I'm So Fat I Shit Donuts | T-Shirt, Vest, Hoody


Fat people are great. I used to be one once. Up until the age of 18, I was a tubby heffa. I had thighs like that woman out of The Gossip. It was when a second-cousin who hadn't seen me in years said that I looked like Meatloaf (the singer, not the foodstuff) that I figured I should lose weight. So, I did and now I have abs and everything. But, there is still the fat bloke in me struggling to get out. I know I know, all the Lardy's reading this are going to say stuff like "just eat and be happy - gorge yourself and fuck the way you look and the health problems" but, truth be told, I'm too vain to be fat again. I've lived life as a fatty and I didn't like it. But, hey, if you are happy, more power to ya! I wish I could eat even a tenth of the food you must do. When I am near a fat bloke, I feel like I need to constantly be on the move in case they mistake me for a tasty morsal and try to tuck into my rump or something. I should shut up with the fat jokes lest you get hungry and fuck off in the search for more food, forgetting about buying this great item in the process. Thing is, I find myself living vicariously in other people - I've become a bit of a Feeder. So, like, I'd be your best friend, right?!

Available on:
Standard T-Shirt
Long Sleeve T-Shirt
Skinny Fit T-Shirt
Skinny Fit Vest
Wife Beater Vest

More from this collection